Manna, Not Chocolate
I'm not very good at waiting.
Let me rephrase that: I'm not very good at waiting when I don't know how long I'll be waiting.
I didn't mind the waiting to meet our babies; I knew that, although it seemed like it could last forever, eventually that sweet new baby would be born. Although I cry almost every time I say "goodbye" to my brother, I don't mind waiting to see him and his family again when I know just when that will be.
But for me, waiting is a different story when I'm not sure how long the waiting will last.
Before we transitioned to Ishpeming, we thought we'd sell our house and find one to move into right away. Both Jordan and I prayed for provision in that regards. Neither thing happened, so we moved in with Jordan's parents until the housing situation ironed out. Okay, I thought, I can handle this. But, Lord, please let us have a house of our own by March 1. March 1 slowly became "by Mother's Day"; "by Mother's Day" slowly became "by June 1"; and "by June 1" slowly became a plea for "by the end of the summer."
Don't get me wrong, Jordan's parents are wonderful and have been beyond good to us while we've freeloaded with them - which has been longer than any of us initially anticipated. And living rent-free, sharing meal duties, having built in help with four little ones . . . there are certainly worse ways to "suffer". In fact, in many ways, we have been blessed these past six months. But it's been difficult to try and make Ishpeming "home" while having yet to unpack our physical possessions.
There have been many cries of, "How long, Lord?" and prayers for the Lord to provide. Even typing that makes me feel pretty pathetic, considering what some of our friends have experienced and the far more difficult road that others are walking. And especially when you consider that the Lord has already provided. It just wasn't the provision that I would have chosen.
I'm thinking that I am fairly similar to the Israelites. Despite the obvious hand of God in their midst and the miracles He had done in order to bring them out of slavery, Israel complained. Something tells me that when the Israelites demanded food in the wilderness, they weren't necessarily thinking of manna - bread that was like wafers with honey - to cover the ground each morning. They probably wanted something "better": meat and potatoes, with some green vegetables, fresh fruit and creamy milk. Plus chocolate for desert. Instead of feeling provided for and seeing the miracle before them each morning for forty years, they may have complained that the provision the Lord gave wasn't quite what they wanted; so therefore, was He even there? Did He even care? Did He even hear their cries, for goodness sake?
But just as the Lord faithfully provided for His stiff-necked, hard-hearted, thick-headed, wayward people, the Lord has provided for stiff-necked, hard-hearted, thick-headed, wayward us. His provision toward us these past six months - and really, our whole lives - is obvious. It's just not always the provision that I would have chosen. I would have chosen a smoothly paved transition where we moved into a home of our own right away rather than waiting eight months. Yet again, though, I am reminded that,
I've been learning that while it's good and right to pray for the Lord's provision, I also need to pray for eyes to see what He has already provided and for a heart that is grateful for that provision . . . even if what I would choose is different than what He has chosen. Because He is good. He is faithful. And He will give us what we need.
Let me rephrase that: I'm not very good at waiting when I don't know how long I'll be waiting.
I didn't mind the waiting to meet our babies; I knew that, although it seemed like it could last forever, eventually that sweet new baby would be born. Although I cry almost every time I say "goodbye" to my brother, I don't mind waiting to see him and his family again when I know just when that will be.
But for me, waiting is a different story when I'm not sure how long the waiting will last.
Before we transitioned to Ishpeming, we thought we'd sell our house and find one to move into right away. Both Jordan and I prayed for provision in that regards. Neither thing happened, so we moved in with Jordan's parents until the housing situation ironed out. Okay, I thought, I can handle this. But, Lord, please let us have a house of our own by March 1. March 1 slowly became "by Mother's Day"; "by Mother's Day" slowly became "by June 1"; and "by June 1" slowly became a plea for "by the end of the summer."
Don't get me wrong, Jordan's parents are wonderful and have been beyond good to us while we've freeloaded with them - which has been longer than any of us initially anticipated. And living rent-free, sharing meal duties, having built in help with four little ones . . . there are certainly worse ways to "suffer". In fact, in many ways, we have been blessed these past six months. But it's been difficult to try and make Ishpeming "home" while having yet to unpack our physical possessions.
There have been many cries of, "How long, Lord?" and prayers for the Lord to provide. Even typing that makes me feel pretty pathetic, considering what some of our friends have experienced and the far more difficult road that others are walking. And especially when you consider that the Lord has already provided. It just wasn't the provision that I would have chosen.
I'm thinking that I am fairly similar to the Israelites. Despite the obvious hand of God in their midst and the miracles He had done in order to bring them out of slavery, Israel complained. Something tells me that when the Israelites demanded food in the wilderness, they weren't necessarily thinking of manna - bread that was like wafers with honey - to cover the ground each morning. They probably wanted something "better": meat and potatoes, with some green vegetables, fresh fruit and creamy milk. Plus chocolate for desert. Instead of feeling provided for and seeing the miracle before them each morning for forty years, they may have complained that the provision the Lord gave wasn't quite what they wanted; so therefore, was He even there? Did He even care? Did He even hear their cries, for goodness sake?
But just as the Lord faithfully provided for His stiff-necked, hard-hearted, thick-headed, wayward people, the Lord has provided for stiff-necked, hard-hearted, thick-headed, wayward us. His provision toward us these past six months - and really, our whole lives - is obvious. It's just not always the provision that I would have chosen. I would have chosen a smoothly paved transition where we moved into a home of our own right away rather than waiting eight months. Yet again, though, I am reminded that,
"'My thoughts are not your thoughts, nor are your ways My ways,' declares the LORD. 'For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are My ways higher than your ways and My thoughts than your thoughts.'" - Isaiah 55:8-9
I've been learning that while it's good and right to pray for the Lord's provision, I also need to pray for eyes to see what He has already provided and for a heart that is grateful for that provision . . . even if what I would choose is different than what He has chosen. Because He is good. He is faithful. And He will give us what we need.
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