Learning to Trust

I'm a youngest child. 

I don't like making big decisions (let's face it, small ones either). I don't like being in charge - of important events or a group of people or of our family's money. I don't like coming up with ideas of how to fund raise or where to serve.

I just do better by simply being told: "This is what needs to be done. Do it."

So the fact that I'm serving on our local MOPS group's leadership team is rather ironic.

A position where I have to call people I don't know and ask them if they can help with child care. A position where I have to make decisions. A position where I am the one telling certain people what to do.

It's all way out of my comfort zone. 

But last year about this time, as I was praying about the decision to join MOPS leadership, I was reminded that when I am weak, He is strong. 

"'He has said to me, 'My grace is sufficient for you, for power is perfected in weakness.' Most gladly, therefore, I will rather boast about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may dwell in me. Therefore I am well content with weaknesses, with insults, with distresses, with persecutions, with difficulties, for Christ's sake; for when I am weak, then I am strong.'" - 2 Corinthians 12:9-10, NASB (emphasis mine) 

This year, as I have served in this position of leadership, I have continually seen the Lord at work. He has certainly stretched me and challenged me to do that which demands complete dependence upon Him. He has reminded me that He is the one at work and that He is good. He has proved Himself faithful in His consistent provision. 

So even though I'm uncomfortable, I am content. 

But in the midst of this leaning upon the Lord for strength, trusting Him to provide what I need, I've often wrestled with the balance. 

I've learned that I need to trust Him week to week to make everything work just as it should. That we'll have enough childcare workers for the kids that come. That, somehow, even in the chaos, there will be peace and He will be glorified.

Unfortunately, I can't just sit back, sip some coffee and watch everything "magically" fall into place. There aren't going to be sweet old ladies calling me up and simply begging me to let them help with child care on Thursday mornings. I've got to be active. Praying for the Lord to give me ideas of who might be available to help. Contacting those sweet ladies - young and old - myself (or, to be honest, Facebook or text. That whole calling people I don't know thing is still low on my list of "favorite activities"). Collaborating with others on how to make our numbers work. Actively doing. 

Over the past few days, I've been trying to decide where that line is. Where's the balance between complete dependence upon the Father and actively working to get what I need? 

I think it's in not worrying. Because that is what trusting is all about. 

"'So do not worry about tomorrow . . .'" - Matthew 6:34, NASB (emphasis mine)

"Faithful is He who calls you, and He also will bring it to pass." - 1 Thessalonians 5:24, NASB